I'm not dead...I was just swept off by yet another new obsession: Gay movies.
You may notice there's a new page on that topic too on my website.
I should finish it up today too. And then I swear I'll start updating again the manga and HP fanfic sections too.
It takes so much time though....and I really have to finish translating chapters 4 of Yatteraneze in Italian.

But I feel energized somehow....
I started a French Course, I went to see two of my teachers at the University to discuss the program for their courses and I like them a lot, and my job is going pretty well.
I may even get a scholarship this year....
So, I'm in going through a positive period, not even the 1300 euro I have to spend for my dentist depress me too much...I will pay it in some months...I'm not gonna get down now because of that!

Hi, I'm writing a new post on this matter to answer the few mails and comments I received lately about the latest problems that seem to have arised with Kira and YH. I don't know if you found me by chance, or if you reminded me from my standing up last time, but I'll be here to chat with you about it in any case, just, if you already knew me, sorry: I'll probabily repeat myself.
 
First of all though, I will state clearly now that I have not been following things lately because of my own few problems right now and because I still felt a bit uneasy at YH.
I've known about the new problems from your comments and mails but since I don't have first hand information like last time and I do not speak about things I don't really know myself as a rule, I'm sorry I can't be much help in trying figuring out what has been happening lately. I can just share with you my feeling about the last "episode".
The only reason I decided to write this post, is to answer that need to speak with someone else involved that I read in most of the mails I received and that I, myself, felt last time. What will follow are MY opinions, MY feelings, i don't expect you to agree with them but I'm open to discuss them.
I know what it means not being able to express it because either people around you don't care about Kira, or what she wrote, or what she did, or because you have no space wherever in which to express it.
What I have to say on the matter is very long and if you don' want to bother reading it all if you want o know what I think, at least take in consideration these few points, I will explain them better later if you really want to understand them:

1.  As evident as it should be, I wil stress this point: Kira is ill, for her own admission. She is bi-polar and prone to have maniac moments in which she cannot control her behaviour. I don't know if after last time she started taking real care of her illness or not, but as she herself stated, she cannot give any warranty of not doing it again. I think the best way to move is to be prepared, now that we know how far down things could go, instead than getting angry again for it later. Personally I was never angry with her because of her "moment", but only after, when she came back to offend people.
   
2. I NEVER HATED KIRA, I DO NOT HATE KIRA. I feel sorry for her too in all this mass, because you can see she suffers, even though she is the cause of her own pain.
   
3. I, together with many other fans, felt betrayed on a personal ground more than on a economic one, and that caused the most pain. 6 months ago I decided to separate Kira the person from Kira the author. That's something I should have done since the beginning and I'm not putting the blame of that mistake on Kira, but still, the way se treated her followers after all the support she received for years from them, it hurts. (Not that it would have been better if they were any other people, but it certainly made it worse)
   
4. In the end, in my personal experience, Kira has been rather honest with money, even during her  "moment", so I think it should be enough to be a little careful and it won't be dangerous to keep following the writer.
   

I'm open to cryticism or even just to chat, but please take in consideration this before attacking:

• Please, stop saying: "It's only a business, if you like it, buy it, if you don't, go away!" You are certainly right, but that has never been how things worked between Kira Takenouchi and her customers (and still seems to work), and that has always been a benefit for Kira, and sometimes for other people too.
• Do avoid the statement "Why do you bother with this? Don't you have a life?" It could have been smart the first two dozen of times it has been written, but it's a bit lame told by people who OBVIOUSLY spend the same amount of time mulling over it.
• It is possible to state your positions without offending, try be mature, I may delete your post otherwise.
• Finally,  I'm Italian and I write in English, since many discussions were fogged up by grammar considerations, I'm asking you: do try to be a grown up and discuss my ideas, not my English Grammar.

 
To better explain the point made above:
1) She seemed to take her illness into consideration in the company after her "moment" by stopping taking pre-orders and (in her view) by appointing other people as CEOs. In fact, I personally think that the only way for people to trust the company again is for its propriety to pass to others. A CEO can be changed at will. And that way she could bother only about her writings too. But I can see how hurtful would be for her to renounce to something she herself worked so hard to build.
2) As I said I do not hate her. I don't like the way she sometimes seems to put herself over others or the way she censured people or treated them. I do not like the way she uses her illness as an excuse for her attacking other people. I have never been angry at her for her "moments" cause they were caused by her illness. But to treat people like she did AFTER she came back and took up her business again (which should mean she was sane enough for that) and then say  "oh, sorry, but what do you want? I'm ill". Well, I can't accept it.
So maybe I don' like part of her as a person much, at the moment, but it's still not hate.
3)I've followed Kira for years and I really loved her, I read her lj everyday, I participated to her bad and good moments. There have been one or two moments in which I didn't like much the way she behaved with someone else, but in the end I knew only her side of the story and ended up forgetting it. This time though, I saw it all so clearly,  there was no room for doubts for me. I despise rudeness above most things and, although I myself yield to it when in rage I try to avoid it like the pest or at least repent to it. If she showed REAL repentance I would have understood. But instead she offered faked apologizes. Because I think that saying sorry one moment, and attack a person who expressed their frustration over the matter the very next moment, it is not a true apology. What's more, she seemed to be surprised that people didn't just thank God for having and back and went back worshipping her....I still remember her saying: "why are you so angry? aren't you happy to have me back?"
And despite all this, I still feel sorry for the way things went and for losing that feelings I had for Kira so, don't you dare telling me that I hate her!
Nothing would make me more happy than knowing she is happy, living in her beautiful house, doing the thing she loves and is so good at instead of having to watch all this!
3) Being part of YH used to be like being part of a little community, we have been part of Kira's life for months and felt like friends to her. Of course it couldn't be the same for her. She was just one and writing about her life everyday. We were hundreds and most of us little more than lurkers. But I at least thought there were some sort of link, loyalty to us on her part. And she DID show it sometimes too, but what remained in the end was in short: "Either you follow me blindly or you fuck off"
4) For what I know Kira has always refunded who needed to be refunded. I myself still have a free lifetime membership even after everything happened. I know she had some problems with the authors of her old companies and for what I gathered she didn't behave very well with them in more than one occasion. But that again have been settled in the end, even though I gathered that the authors had to be very firm and in some cases even had to use the threat of a lawyer to be listened to.

I kept this for last, because not being involved in this second crisis, I'm not even sure if everything that was told me is true.
But if it is, I have to say I'm very sorry for Esther for her situation, although it seems exactly the same of what happened to Harial.
They both never said a bad word about Kira, at least to me, and they both had to work hard for Kira's company. i don't know if there's something true in Kira's accusations but I never read anything to back those up.
And a special sorry from me to Esther for doubting her very existence...a bit paranoid you'd say? But it wouldn’t have been the first time Kira assumed someone else's identity (Keeru).And I couldn't really understand how someone could have done what Esther did: following Kira during her "yaoi era" , then in her "God dislikes what I write" era (even quoting the Bible together with Kira in the new lj), and then AGAIN in her "yaoi era". And I noticed that Esther's writing patterns are sometimes very similar to Kira's.
I'm still not totally sure if you, Esther, really exist or not,  but if you do, sorry for doubting it.

Here is the end of this stream of consciousness.
I tried to keep it short instead I ended up with a boring poem, but it would have meant nothing otherwise.
If you want to talk further I'm here.
And I hope that everything will settle soon for everyone, Kira included, and there won't be anymore nastiness from both parts involved.
And NO, I don't think this post will just spur more polemics, I'm no one important after all, and I still believe that not letting people talk about it it's the worse thing Kira could do for herself.

God what an awful period is this! Work, work, work and no money, problems everywhere, even a tragedy in one of my friend's family, not a decent man in sight not even if you're willing to pay...
Thanks God I discovered yaoi some years ago, and thank Iani for introducing me to it. I feel like I could go crazy right now without it.

I'm too troubled to dedicate time to WIP fiction or too complex matters, so I avoid studying, I (try to) avoid thinking about the Italian first minister (The BIG lying ass-hole), and so I just read some short fanfic, some oneshot manga or anime and trying to make my website look a tiny winy bit better...

I hope you're fairing better and that you're having good holidays...

I try to drop a note now and then just as to make you know I'm not dead (if any of you does actually give a damn about it ;P).

First of all I want to congratulate Kira for her decision of freeing her authors form their contracts obligations and let them decide what they feel it's best for them after all that happened.

Then I want to give you the new links to Kira and Harial companies' websites.
You may find them on my website page: YaoiFiction  

Let's hope we can put everything behind and just anjoy the good fiction again!

I've started a new group  called YAOI CHAT to talk about Yaoi in general, fiction, fanfiction, manga, anime, whatever.

If you want to join you're most welcome to do it.

Here's the link: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/yaoichat/

See you there